Long Lost Love

Lo

Do you remember my long lost love?

The moment I fell for you

It seemed so perfect and so true

I got million butterflies in my stomach

Eyes lit up, smile across face and stars all around

I had it all sorted out in my mind

I knew our paths and stars were aligned

Do you remember my long last love?

Robbing hours away from friends ’n family

The moments we spent together

How amazing were the plans we made

Watching the sky changing its shade

The feelings and the bond we shared

Love for each other we finally declared

Do you remember my long lost love?

How stupid and childish I was around you

How my laughter was your favorite view

Though I devoted myself but you let me be me

Your love didn’t bound instead made me free

I found the best of myself through you

Love like ours in millions is found by few

Do you remember my long lost love?

Can you recall why we drifted apart?

For I still wonder why did this all even start

Your soul became colder than December nights

Your words meant to hurt and ignite fights

Even my acts that once made you feel great

Became a reason behind your feelings of hate

Tell me you remember my long lost love

The way I begged you to look me in the eye

Tell me you remember I never wanted to say bye

Tell me you remember when I called out for you

The sighs, tears, depression and heartbreaks too

You pushed me away and pushed too hard

You didn’t let me in and put up your guard

But how can you remember my long lost love?

For you didn’t turn around to look at me

Your God-damn ego was all you could see

You left me whimpering on the cold floor

And slammed on my face your love’s door

But I should admit, I still think about you each day

Don’t know how long this pain is gonna stay

 

But I will hold on till your imprints fade away

And I believe I will be free from you one day

 

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The Brown Girl

Source: Ebony

When I was young I was told how adorable I was

With my eyes being big and lips so small

My hair so silky and arms so thin

I was told I am pretty just like a Barbie doll

But as I grew my world turned upside down

For I was bullied and called Chocolate Brown

For I was a kid so couldn’t understand

What was going on with me on this land?

My mother told me to pay no heed

To the taunts of aunties, sarcasm of buddies and catcalling on street

But deep down I know her heart did bleed

I started coming home with these taunts on my mind

Standing in front of mirror, cursing the tone of my rind

Aunties showering tips to make my skin tone light

 Telling me again and again, girl! This would be right

So I believed in the words they all said

Haldi on cheeks, bleach on hands and fairness creams on my forehead

They told me that a girl with light tone and sharp features is a fine art

They told me I am no different yet their pointed fingers at my color set me apart

Girls in the parlor giving me names of the creams

Oblivious of the fact how my inner-self screams

I remember my friends idolizing these cute white chicks

Pointing out how pretty I was but

This skin tone how fairness creams can fix

So my mom hid me in her arms to keep me away and secure

Remembering me every second I was charming with my heart so pure

And all this time I sat there defenseless and quite

Wondering why a chocolate is liked dark but a girl in skin-tone white

So I have finally decided to raise my voice

To tell you I am perfect in my skin

And I don’t need the color of your choice

Yes, you might be proud of you being white

But dare I mention

It’s the dark sky that makes a star shine out bright

 

Boys Don’t Cry

 I can recall the time when I was two

I fell from swing without any clue

I hit my head on the stone so bad

And that was the first injury I had

I remember my dad rushing towards me

Landing down on one of his knee

I still can see my clothes ripped in blood

And my hands covered in that dirty mud

He picked me up and looked in the eye

“Shush up! Boys don’t cry”

 

I can also recall when I was sixteen

Carrying on my shoulders a bag of jean

I had this dream that I wanted to pursue

Instead I was made yet another in Engineering queue

The time flew fast and it was the month of exams

Whereas I couldn’t make sense of words of sir and ma’ams

So I sat with my head in middle of my hands

With a friend who I thought understands

A tear of hopelessness crawls down my cheek

And I hear him say,

Boys don’t cry, Tears are for weak”

 

Now if I may share a wish of mine

Some of the plans I have in line

Some day when I would be thirty one

Sitting under the sky with my son

I’ll put my arms around this little guy

Telling him the secrets of sky

I will tell him to not let the society define

What is bad for him and what is fine

I will tell him it’s ok to shed a few tears

But it’s not ok to live with fears

I will tell him to speak and to write

But not to dip his pillow at night

I will tell him to not be afraid to fall

For the fear in front of freedom is small

I will tell him of the silence men keep

Makes their outer shell strong but their hearts do weep

They are told that they are the man of house

Son, Brother, Father and someone’s spouse

So they have to be strong like a pillar

Wearing fake smiles and their emotions killer

I will tell my son to be free of this brutal chain

Before society can snatch from him humanity’s little grain

I will tell him that all they do is lie

Lie that, Boys Don’t Cry

 

Inspired by and dedicated to Mujtaba Khan Raja and Athar Siddiqui.

Dear Busy Buddy

Dear Busy Buddy,

Life is such blessing with all it brings down to us. Let those be moments of happiness and comfort or the harsh experiences and struggles, every phase has it’s own amazing taste. And those blessings are just not limited till there, life brings us amazing people to share endless time. Among those beautiful relations is the relationship of friendship. It though has its specific name but if observed closely it houses all relationships of the world.

Friendship is one of the biggest blessings one can acquire and having a friend who shares your passions, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, nature, interests and what not is the best of all.I hope we still share the same bond so, you would have agreed to me on all I said, no? But I believe every relationship which seems so strong is equally breakable too. It is so fragile that even a mere blow of wind can move it.

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Strength of a relationship is not defined by the movement a tie can endure but the force it takes to break that knot.

Throughout the years of the bond we created once, I got to learn alot from you and though I never wanted to be dependent on someone but I guess I became used to of leaning on you. For a person who is haunted by the thought of being alone, no decision can be worst than deciding to make a friend the center of the universe. But sadly, I did.

Life was so good and great until their words became a reality. Friendships don’t pass the test of practical life. I was so sure our bond will survive after all we were not just friends but a bit more than that. We had the same feelings, did not we? We stayed true to it, did not we? I know we both tried but you got lost in the sea of busy life.

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You embraced the open arms of busy world ahead of you while I kept standing there watching you go. Needle is on 12 on the clock if my impatience is measured. I peek on the biscuits 2 minutes after the tray is put in the oven but I kept looking at the phone for hours just to get your reply. I like sleeping while hugging my pillow but I kept my eyes open just to read a text after 2 hours, “Sorry I fell asleep”. It was hard for me too to take out time but I made myself available just to look at the bare chair telling myself you would have had an urgent work.

I kept acting mature to understand the long list of reasons that kept you busy. It took me long but I realized that you slammed the door of your presence on my face, snatched that friendship of yours from me, drove away your hand from mine and abandoned me to live my worst dream and look my deepest fear into the eye.

I found myself alone and loneliness peeked right into my eyes, tearing through my soul, crawling through my nerves, destroying my neurons and stabbing my heart with each stare. I finally decided that I need to move on like you did. I realized one more bond is broken because of busy schedule of work. I knew it was the time so, I told myself I am happy for the success my friend is getting, the opportunities coming along the path and the works added in the achievements but no one is busy all the time. Priorities define the way tasks are done and people are dealt. So, I moved on looking for the place that belongs to me in this world and searching for the people I can call my new home.

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As far my busy pal is concerned, I know he will turn around one day tired of the workload and happiness of successes to celebrate the moment with me. I know in his memory I would still be standing where he left me but I’ll leave this on destiny to whisper to him,

Isn’t it too late? The one you look for has left this place too!

The Song-list

There was nothing happening about them, but there was something special. There was nothing like fairytales in their love-life but there was nothing from this world either. There was nothing like fights but they were never understanding. What they had was never understandable by this world. How they admired each other’s differences could never fit into people’s minds. There was less of coordination and more of conflicts. But those conflicts could never make their paths separated. They had issues but they could not stand even a night.

They both were surely a mess and ugly in their own ways but they had eyes to see each others beauty.

She was never much pretty to fit into world’s standards of beauty but for him moon’s beauty faded away each time she was near. He also was not as handsome as prince in her favorite fairytale but she never could take her eyes off him. She was a hopeless romantic and a kid whereas he was a professional in putting his love in words. She could never get her head out of books but for him adventures were what he lived for. She liked warm sunshine while snow was his favorite of all.

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But the commitment they had towards each other is what made them stand as one. If lovers are two bodies with one soul, they were one soul with million differences.

There were places where they completed each other but at other points they made each other feel more than incomplete. But even in the darkness, they stood beside each other more closer than shadow could ever be. There definitely were incidences when they did not talk to each other but there never was any thing that one did not know about other. There came times when they were about to be torn down apart but in the end their fingers got more intertwined than before.

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If she was a mess, he was no less than a stubborn head. They were awesome as single but when together they were more than this world could handle at once. He followed her in the fuss she created every time and she boosted up his passion all the way. It was all imperfectly perfect till he had to leave- leave to never come back or may be leave for good. He did not even care to knock at the door or drop a text before leaving. He did not leave a note or mentioned to her when he would return. So she kept waiting with his silhouettes still on the doormat, his clothes still hanging ironed in almirah, his number on the top of her dialed list, his mug still on table, his perfumes arranged on dressing table and his map against wall with his travel plans.

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She never let him go. Instead he got a place on her song-list. Song-list which was there when the sun was warm, when the clouds dripped rain, when the flowers were blooming, when the trees shed their leaves away, when her lips had that beautiful curve and when her eyes got teary. Song-list which was never on pause, so she could relive the moments she had with him and listen his voice every single moment.

Death…

Death…. From the second we enter this world we are taught to fear death and spend our lives escaping its sharp eyes. We forget that we are just on a journey which will end one day. We forget that this life is nothing more than a mere stage where we are put under limelight to dance like puppets. We think our thread is in fate’s hands when in reality we solely are responsible for the consequences we face. We spend all our lives grinning at the thought that we will trick death. We think we can defeat it so we fulfill all our heartiest desires. We indulge in wrong doings, we do unfair to others, we lie, we kill justice when poor needs it the most, we cheat on people who love us and we deny that God is present everywhere while His eyes keep watching all we do.

And when the hourglass is about to run out of sand we realize that God is still watching us, we accept that we are on a journey that is about to end, we see the fact of show getting over waving at us and we recall all the wrong we did. We hear the footsteps of horse running, we see a horse approaching us with someone riding on it but the sandstorm blinds us and when it’s some steps far we see death. We see death riding on it wearing a black veil with hunter in its hands and fire of fear all around it. Our eyes could not bear the fact, our hearts start beating faster, our mind yells at us to run and hide but our legs stay frozen, our posture stiff and our body still as if it is stuck in sand. And before we could say sorry to God or shout out for help

Death puts its hunter in our neck and drags us all the way with it to the darkest and deepest valleys where there is nothing but fire, tears and grinding of teeth.

It leaves a lesson for the ones who stay behind and for the ones who wants to learn. The marks of dragging tells the tale of inevitable and quotes that death will come soon so be prepared for it!